As you may or may not have noticed, I’ve struggled in writing the last few posts for this blog. The thing is, I was not doing well. Not doing well at all. Apparently, yeast/candida die-off isn’t fun. 😉 It sent me to bed for a week, unable to even write for most of it. As of the day of this writing, however, I am pleased to say I am doing much better. Something a friend of mine couldn’t help but notice.
She asked me how I was doing today, so I told her the basics and… well actually, what ended up as my answer was a rather deep metaphor. Or so she says. 😉
The past week has felt like I was drowning in more ways than one. I was mentally battling for my sanity every moment, while physically feeling just plain miserable. And in particular, in my mental battle, I felt like I was losing. Like…
Actually, I think I’m going to cut myself off here. The purpose of this post is not to figure out all the mental stuff. I do have it planned out to write here soon, but for now suffice to say it was hard, scary, and I felt SO lost and depressed. And I was struggling in my faith. I felt like I was doing something wrong, sinning even. I was praying, desperately, but I still felt far from God. I knew He was there, but I as struggling.
Over the past few days, however, my mind started to get relief by leaps and bounds, until the change was clear to everyone around me.
To me, it felt like my head had broken the surface to the water, and I was able to take a breath. I was no longer drowning, but able to recover my breath if even for just a minute. I was able to look around and determine exactly where I was in the ocean, and how far out to sea I’d drifted. It gave me a chance to gulp the air that I needed to hopefully be able to hold my breath the next time I have to plunge into depths of the underwater mental goblin tunnels of Lyme.
I was able to feel the sunshine on my face. While underwater I could see the light, and I knew it was there, but oh, how good it feels to feel it on my face. The sunlight is like God. While He has never left me, sometimes it can seem hard to feel Him. It doesn’t matter how much water there is, however, the sun will never leave. Like I once heard someone preach, clouds may cover it, but there is nothing that the clouds can do to the sun. The sun cannot be blotted out by them. And neither can God be blotted out. Nothing can separate us from His love. Nothing.
Just as He has provided me with the breath, with this respite, so He will not give us a burden too heavy to bear, or a command too impossible to obey. He will always provide a way out, and He will always equip us. Do not lose hope! Hold on to His promises of healing, and relief, but even more than that, hold on to the promise of more than temporary relief, but eternal relief! We will NOT have to face this forever. He has promised us even more than a breath- He’s promised us eternity on dry land with NO drowning depths of sickness, sin, hurt, or suffering.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
-Revelations 21:3-4 (NIV) (This is jut one passage among many, saying the same thing!)