When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. -Psalm 73:21-26
You’re a burden.
They’re upset with you.
You aren’t worth it.
You’re all alone.
You’re sinning. Your faith it too weak.
You are nothing more than a broken, messy, sick girl.
You can’t live up to what God asks of you.
Telling them would just add burden to them.
They don’t want to know.
I can’t ask for prayers, I’ve already asked too much.
I don’t know who I am anymore. I’ve lost myself.
This will never end.
The lies. They hurt. And even if we know that they aren’t true, even if we recognize them as lies, the seem so real. They are so demanding. They refuse to be pushed to the side. What do we do with them? How do we survive?
Yes, we know they are irrational. We know that they are caused by what the Lyme disease is chemically doing to our brains. But it’s sure hard to believe when you are bombarded, constantly, with these lies that scratch and scrape at your mind. Picking at it. For days. For weeks. For months. They hurt.
We HATE them.
So what do we do?
We replace them with the Truth.
In the book series the Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson, there is a character, Kalmar, who *spoiler* gets turned into a wolf. But not all the way. His mind is still his own. Or so it seems. The longer that he is in wolf form, the harder and harder it is, until he is losing his mind. His eyes get yellow and he temporarily goes wild. He fears that one day he’ll permanently stay wild. Or worse, that he’ll hurt one of those around him that he loves. His close friend and brother, Janner, finds a way to help him. Whenever this happens, he will ask Kalmar: “What is your name?”
“What is your name?”
“My name is Kalmar, son of Esben, King of Anniera,” is the sought after reply.
It is the truth. It helps Kalmar remember who he is. It works the same way with our minds.
It works the same way with our minds. The way to defeat the lies in our head is to hold on to the truth. And especially, to hold on to God’s truth. How did Jesus defeat the devil in the desert? With Scripture.
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. -Hebrews 4:12 (NIV)
Therefore, try this next time you are overcome with the destructive and terrible thoughts and lies that Lyme sends your way, next time you are brought to literal uncontrollable sobbing, anxiety, and depression. Replace the lies and irrational thoughts with what is true- with God’s truth. Speak it out loud, like Kalmar! If you aren’t sure what is right or wrong, which things in your mind are truth or lies, seek God’s word. If you don’t know where to start, look at the chart above in this post. Start with, like Kalmar, who you are: a child of the King of Kings. A child of God.
Replace the irrational lies with God’s truth.
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. -Psalm 73:21-26 (NIV)